Times of Joy and Sadness
by Lindsay-Lace
Summary: A relationship centered story with SamJack, DanielJanet, sortof SamDaniel, Alternate Universes...What more could you want?
1. Between Friends

"How's it going?"

Sam heard Janet's voice as her friend stood behind her and looked over her shoulder at the computer screen.

"I'm almost done" Sam yawned. "Just a few more minutes"

"That's great" Janet said smiling. "But I actually meant life in general"

"Life is…good" Sam said distractedly.

"Oh, well, I'm convinced…"

"Really Janet, I'm okay" Sam insisted.

"Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine with me." Janet said dismissively.

"There's nothing to talk about" Sam's eyes were focused on the computer screen.

"Then I guess it's a good thing we're not talking about it" Janet said innocently.

"All right" Sam relented, turning from the computer. "What do you want to know?"

Janet sat down in the nearest chair. "How's the marriage?"

"Oh that's subtle" Sam said sarcastically.

"You _did _ask" Janet pointed out.

"You're right." Sam acquiesced. "But there's really not a lot to talk about."

"Honeymoon's over huh?" Janet asked dryly

"What honeymoon?" Sam asked morosely.

"As I recall you guys had two weeks off…"

"Would you like me to tell you how we spent those two weeks?" Sam grimaced.

"You're kidding"

Sam shook her head. "Who would have guessed we had so much to talk about hmm?"

"Oh Sam" Janet was sympathetic.

"I mean, it's not like we never…" Sam squirmed. "I mean, of course we have, but it's just so complicated when we do that I find myself avoiding it."

"Well look," Janet tried to be comforting. "You're still technically newlyweds. Maybe it's just taking time. Especially considering the circumstances…" Janet cringed inwardly. "It's only natural for you guys to have issues. That doesn't mean you can't work them out in time."

"Maybe" Sam considered "But there are other problems too. Just the normal, everyday stuff, the part I expected to be easy. I mean, it's not Daniel's fault" Sam said quickly. "He's perfect. He's sweet, considerate, always asking about my day, he doesn't complain when I work late, he gives me first dibs on the TV, he picks up his laundry…"

"And you're miserable" Janet finished.

Sam nodded. "I thought I could make it work, but he's almost too perfect. I keep wanting him to mess up, or to just once do something stupid. But then, I think if he did I'd probably end up jumping all over him about it because…" Sam shook her head.

"Because he's not Jack?" Janet supplied gently.

Sam's eyes welled up with tears. "I thought it would be better to be with Daniel than to be alone. I didn't think I could wait for Jack forever, and every time I tried to date a guy who wasn't part of the program it was screwed up. Daniel and I are perfect for each other. Well, maybe not _perfect_ but we've always at least been good for each other. Which is more than I can say for me and Jack sometimes…" Sam got a far away look in her eye and she hastily brushed away a few escaping tears.

"Sometimes I thought things might get better somewhere along the line. Daniel's always been really understanding. But after we lost Jack…" Sam's voice caught. "Well it was hard for him too. And I couldn't be there for him. And I couldn't let him help me. I love him Janet. I really do. It's just that I can't stop thinking about Jack. I thought if there was anyone I could move on with it would be Daniel, because Daniel would understand, and I could always talk to Daniel about Jack." She sniffled.

"What I didn't think of was that we'd stop talking once we were together. I mean, what the hell was I thinking?" Sam asked angrily. "Did I really think I was gonna go home to Daniel and tell him how I thought about Jack all day? That I dream about him at night and scream his name in my dreams?"

"Sam can I ask you something?" Janet ached for her friends.

Sam nodded.

"If it's that bad, why are you still together?"

Sam sighed. "I don't know, I guess it's because the main reason we made the decision to be together is still there. We're still friend's, we still have feelings for each other. I know it's weird but we still get along better than any couple we know. Maybe he drives me insane, but he's a good man. And we really are there for each other. I don't think either of us wants to be the one to give up."

Janet smiled reassuringly. "Sometimes these things just take time." She said, not really believing it.

"Right" Sam said with matching uncertainty. "Time"


	2. When the Nights Get Darker

Daniel hissed under his breath as the cold stethoscope touched his chest. Fraiser was giving him his regular checkup and he couldn't help but wonder if she'd either been distracted or –more likely- he'd made Sam mad and Janet was purposely torturing him.

"So how've you been?" Janet asked him

Daniel decided she was being nice to him, which probably meant she was distracted rather than mad…

"Daniel?" Janet's forehead creased with concern.

"What?" Daniel blinked. "Sorry" he shook his head. "I'm fine"

"You seem a little distracted lately" Janet noted.

"More than usual?" Daniel smiled morosely.

"Just a little bit" Janet smiled back. "So how are things at home?" Janet asked casually.

"Fine" Daniel said again.

"You know I talked to Sam yesterday" Janet broached the subject cautiously.

"Really" Daniel wondered where this was heading.

"She said you two were having a few…problems."

"What problems?" Daniel waited for it.

Janet touched his arm. "'Physical', problems"

Daniel rubbed his forehead with his fingertips and wondered if there was anything women didn't talk to each other about. "Janet, is there some reason you're bringing this up?"

"I'm just concerned about you." Janet said softly, her hand still on his arm. "I know you two have had some problems, and you're a grown man with certain needs…"

"Doctor" Daniel was feeling exposed, sitting in the infirmary without his shirt while a beautiful woman told him she knew that he hadn't been with his wife in over three months. "Look Janet," Daniel stood up and grabbed his shirt. "I appreciate your concern, but maybe you should stick to talking to Sam"

"Sorry" Janet looked down.

"No" Daniel pressed his palm against his forehead. "Don't apologize, please."

"Is your head all right?" Janet asked.

"It's fine" Daniel said dismissively.

"Daniel, I may have been out of line asking about your personal life but don't brush me off as your doctor." She said firmly.

"All right" Daniel admitted "I have a little headache"

"How long have you had it?"

"Since I saw the way you looked at me when I took my shirt off." Daniel said bluntly.

Janet blushed "I'm sorry"

"You know Janet, if you weren't Sam's best friend…"

Janet swallowed and whispered "I'm _your_ friend too Daniel."

Daniel dropped his shirt back on the bed. "So is it too late to start over from the beginning?"


	3. Returning the Lost

Sam walked into the Mess and looked around for her friends. Well, technically one of them was her husband. But she always thought of Daniel first and foremost as a friend. She spotted him sitting with Janet at SG-1's usual table in the corner.

Sam's marriage to Daniel had changed SG-1's camaraderie in ways no one had predicated. Jack's close friends -and some not so close friends who listened to certain rumors- had expected Jack to be upset over the wedding. But Teal'c had been a surprise. He'd found seeing Sam and Daniel together difficult, and when he'd eventually started being 'otherwise occupied' every time Sam and Daniel asked him out with them as a couple, and always managed to make time for either of them if they were alone, they got the picture.

After Jack had died Teal'c had been forced to come to terms with their marriage and had been a great comfort and strength to both of them, separately. Though the loss of Jack put pressure on Teal'c to keep the team together he disliked the idea of their marriage –if possible- even more than before. A fact which he didn't show much, except perhaps, in his increasing tendency to be off world.

Which was why, once again, Janet Fraiser was at their table today. She'd started coming by and sitting with Sam and Daniel after it became apparent the pressure of Jack's coldness and Teal'c's disapproval was getting to them. Janet had stuck by her two friends, and been the only person they knew who actually bothered to conceal her surprise at their new relationship.

Sam walked up quietly behind Janet and listened in on the conversation.

"You'd better watch it _Doctor_ Jackson." Janet warned.

"Why? Are you going to give me another checkup or something?" Daniel countered.

"I might if you keep pushing your luck" Janet warned seriously.

"Isn't that abusing the doctor-patient privilege?" Daniel asked innocently.

"No one's noticed before" Janet smirked.

"Well, aren't _we_ in a good mood this morning" Sam said grinning at antics.

Janet's head whirled around so fast she almost got whiplash. "Hi Sam" she smiled quickly. "I didn't hear you come over"

"I was listening to you two bicker." Sam sat down beside Daniel. "It's obvious you got up on the right side of the bed this morning."

_Actually it was the left_…Daniel corrected mentally. Then kicked himself for having that thought while his wife was sitting next to him.

"Well," Janet looked at her watch. "It's nearly seven o'clock and I haven't had one broken bone, staff blast _or_ new virus. Although I probably shouldn't have said that, now I'm sure to get at least _one_ of those."

"Oh" Sam pouted. "I thought maybe it was a guy." her eyes sparkled mischievously.

Daniel very nearly choked on his coffee.

Fortunately for him Sam didn't notice "What ever happened to the man you met at that restaurant with Cassie last week? I mean, you sounded pretty excited when you called me."

Daniel raised his eyebrows. He hadn't heard about that. Not that he was supposed to be interested…

"It didn't work out" Janet said vaguely, purposely avoiding Daniel's attempts to catch her eye.

"Loser?" Sam inquired

"No, just…wrong" Janet shrugged "Maybe I'm too picky"

"Well they say anything's better than settling." Sam admonished.

The table was suddenly silent. Sam wanted to kill herself. She desperately tried to think of something to say that would sound like that wasn't what she meant, or to change their train of thought, or to just break the damned silence. But in the end she didn't have to.

"Unscheduled off-world activation"

For once grateful for the disruption Sam and Daniel ran for the Control Room.

"Close the iris" Hammond ordered.

"Already done sir" the technician announced. "Receiving no iris-code"

"Keep that Iris closed."

Sam and Daniel stood side by side and watched the gate, waiting for the signal, or the transmission, or the 'bug on a windshield' sound of a matter stream striking the trinium. Instead their eyes widened as they saw a figure walk right through the iris. Every gun in the Gate Room instantly aimed at the new arrival.

Jack stood in the Gate Room and surveyed the shocked expressions of the airmen surrounding him. "So" he said "I take it I'm dead in this one?"


	4. Introduction to Home

Daniel sat down in the chair across from Jack.

"You guys _have_ run into parallel universes right?" Jack asked.

Daniel nodded.

"Good" Jack leaned back. "So you have an idea of what's going on?"

"Well," Daniel responded. "We would be interested to know how you get from one reality to another without a Quantum Mirror."

"A what?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"A large, heavy mirror that transports you from one reality to another..."

"Oh right, that thing. We never quite figured out how to change the channel."

"So how did you get here?" Daniel was puzzled.

"Well you know that thing your pals took off me after I came through?"

"Besides the Tollan phase change device?"

"Yup."

"Well?" Daniel waited for the explanation.

"Well I suggest you get _your_ Carter to take a look at it and see if she can figure out how _my_ Carter made it work." Jack looked at Daniel. "She's okay right? You're Carter?"

Daniel nodded. "She's fine. She's a little unsettled by your coming here."

"Well that's the hard part of inter-reality travel isn't it? If you come to a place where you're dead, you end up hurting everybody. If you come to one where you're alive you get to experience that wonderful 'temperal' thing or whatever it is and then move on to the next place before you get ripped in half."

Daniel's brow furrowed. "How many of these realities have you been to?"

"I don't know, a handful I guess, trying to find the right one. But Carter rigged it so it hits realities similar to the one I came from. How upset is she exactly?" Jack got them back to the subject of Sam.

"Well," Daniel tried to find a way to explain what he knew of their relationship. "Jack used to call her Sam." he said.

"She's a civilian?"

"No"

"I retired?"

"No, but you, he, talked about it once or twice."

"Too late though" Jack concluded.

Daniel nodded.

"Seems my bad timing covers multiple realities." Jack said, almost to himself.

Daniel raised his eyebrows.

"Only where I'm from we lost her first" Jack told him.

"What about me and Teal'c?" Daniel wanted to know.

"You two were fine, until last week that is." Jack added.

"What happened?"

"The replicator's took over the earth." Jack absently rubbed an acid scar on his left wrist.

"So not the Gou'uld then."

"Not this time," Jack looked at Daniel and raised an eyebrow "Happen a lot does it?"

"Quite a bit I hear."

"Well, I guess the replicator's make a nice change then" Jack said wryly

"Yeah, there's nothing like variety." Daniel was equallyglum.

"So," Jack leaned back in his chair. "Is there anything else I should know about this reality before people start busting in, telling me things, shifting my paradigms…"

"Um…yeah, actually" Daniel started reluctantly.

"But I'm not going to like it?" Jack guessed.

"Probably not" Daniel agreed.

"Well?"

Daniel inhaled deeply. "Before you, Jack died…I um, I married Sam"

Jack blinked. "You what?"


	5. Stolen Moments

Janet opened the door and her eyes lit up when she saw Daniel.

"Hi" Daniel smiled.

Janet held the door open while Daniel walked in, shutting it behind him.

"Where's Cassie?" Daniel asked looking around.

"She's staying over at a friend's house"

"Good" Daniel smiled and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Daniel" Janet shook her head.

"What?" Daniel threw his shirt on the couch.

"Nothing" Janet decided to drop it.

"So how do you arrange that?" Daniel started backing toward the bedroom. "Wouldn't Cassie start to wonder if you tried to get rid of her?"

Janet followed him "Actually Cassie's best friend has a single mom. So, if either of us want…a little privacy we call the other girls mother and they drop some hints and…"

"And here we are" Daniel finished, stretching out on the bed on his back. He'd already kicked his shoes off and was lying there in nothing but his khaki's. "Janet?" Daniel held out his hand. Ever since that day when she'd made the first move Janet had backed down, become almost shy at times, and let Daniel make the first move.

Janet sat down beside him on the bed but gently pulled away when he reached for her. "Daniel, can we talk?"

Daniel winced. Not that he minded talking to Janet, he enjoyed it. But timing wise he usually preferred after to before, and he was never quite relaxed until he knew what the subject matter was going to be… "About what?" he posed turning onto his side and resting his head on his elbow.

"Anything" Janet rested a hand on his shoulder. Daniel raised his eyebrows. "It's just that we never talk Daniel. You come over and jump in my bed and I know I never asked you for any kind of a relationship, but we've always been friends and lately I feel like we're just …"

"Janet, you know I care about you" Daniel took her hand. "It's just my wife…"

"Daniel I don't expect you to leave her, I don't _want_ you to leave her, you know that. But when you're here, I want to be with _you_, not just your body."

"Janet" Daniel moved over and pulled her down beside him so he was looking into her eyes. He lightly caressed her face with his hand and whispered. "I'm sorry if I've been a little distant." he swallowed. "I guess I'm just a little...scared." he admitted.

Janet covered his hand with her own. "Scared of what?" she asked gently.

"That I'm falling in love with you"

Janet inhaled sharply.

"Janet?" Daniel wondered if he'd said the wrong thing.

"Shut up Daniel" she whispered, burying her face in his neck.

Daniel smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

"Daniel" Janet spoke into his shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"I'm falling for you too."


	6. Memory of Loss

Sam was walking down the hall when she heard a groaning noise from inside the gym. It was a sound she would have known anywhere. She hesitated for a moment at the door and walked in. Sam's eyes swept the half dark room and landed on a figure doing bench presses on a weight bench in the corner.

Sam's breath caught in her throat when she saw him. Instead of sweats and a t-shirt he was wearing his olive drab pants and bare-chested. It was like seeing a ghost, and yet, he wasn't the same man. His body was hard, even leaner than her Jack's had been, evidence of the prolonged battle with the replicator's. His hair was longer than she'd ever seen Jack grow it, probably because of the war as well. Jack released one final groan of effort and sat up. The perspiration ran off his forehead and his body glistened with sweat.

Jack looked around the room for the next weightmachine and saw Sam staring at him. He didn't say anything, just looked back at her, his eyes registering everything Sam was feeling. The initial happiness at seeing the person walk into a room, quickly crushed by the remembrance of their death, and the return of the memory of loosing them, as fresh as if it were yesterday. And for that moment Sam wished she hadn't come.

But Jack was nothing if not quick to recover, and his eyes soon became guarded, which may have hurt Sam almost as much as his pain had, if she hadn't also detected that he was beginning to trust her. If she hadn't needed for him to keep her at a certain distance just to stay sane.

Sam sat down on the bench of the wait machine across from him.

"What did she look like?" Sam asked. Sensing he was looking her over for differences just as she had been doing to him a moment ago.

"What?" Jack knew who she meant, but the question didn't make any sense.

"Maybe it's crazy but, I keep wanting to know how we were different."

"There's nothing crazy about it." Jack stated. "Believe me, and I'm in a position to know, if there's anything that makes a person self-conscious it's knowing there's more of you out there somewhere."

"So what did she look like?" Sam repeated, because out of all the things she wanted to know about the 'other Sam' that was the easiest question to ask.

"She looked a lot like you" Jack started with the obvious. "She was a little skinnier than you are, toward the end. Not as clean, a lot more tired. We knew they were coming for months. The closer they came the less we slept, until the last two or three days when we didn't sleep at all. She stopped cutting her hair because she didn't have the time, so it grew out long and tangled because she didn't have time to brush it." Jack paused.

"So one day she just cut it all off," Jack held his hand up above his ear to illustrate how short it was. "with a scissors, during a five minute break. It looked absolutely terrible." Jack remembered. "I don't think I've ever felt more proud of anyone in my life"

Sam closed her eyes and rubbed her eyelids.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked her.

"I don't know" Sam answered. "I'm feeling really confused right now."

"Tell me about it" Jack exhaled.

"I'd better go" Sam stood up.

Jack followed suit.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Sam told him.

Jack nodded. "Yeah"

Sam walked to the door.

"Carter"

Sam froze.

"I'm not him you know" Jack searched her face.

"I know" Sam said the words and walked out the door. But right now she wasn't sure believed him. He had the same softness in his eyes, the same wit, sarcasm, the same ways of dealing with loss. She knew there were differences, but he was so the same. As far as she could tell this Jack wasn't any more different fromthe man she'd lost than the Jack O'Neill she'd met years ago in the briefing room was.

Sam walked down the hallway toward the locker room. She didn't know where she was going, or who –if anyone- she could talk to. But she did know one thing, if she stayed in the mountain any longer, she was going to loose her mind.


	7. The Deepest Need

Janet opened the door. "Sam"

"Janet, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sam this isn't really a good time."

"Oh" Sam's face fell and Janet noticed the dark circles under her eyes.

"Something _is _wrong." Janet was concerned.

"I'm all right." Sam bit her lip "I'm just a little confused, everything's getting so complicated. I don't know what to do."

"Okay" Janet gave in. "look, why don't you come in and I'll get some clothes on and we can go somewhere to talk."

"What about Cassie?" Sam asked.

"She's at a friend's house."

Sam was starting to put two and two together. "Do you have company?"

Janet grimaced.

"You do," Sam shook her head "I can go."

"Sam I may be your friend but I'm also your doctor. I'll tell him I have an emergency with a patient."

"Janet you can't…"

"Yes I can" Janet interrupted. "He'll be here when I get back" Janet went to get dressed.

Sam sat down on the couch to wait and felt something underneath her. She stood up and saw a shirt on the couch. She picked it up and absently noticed it looked just like one of Daniel's as she draped it over the back of the couch. She squinted as a dark spot caught her eye. Daniel was forever getting ink spots in his shirts from his seemingly endless supply of leaking ball point pens.

Sam traced the stain with her finger. It couldn't be possible, but she could have sworn… She looked down the hallway after Janet. Sam shook her head. She couldn't be thinking what she was thinking. It was ridiculous; it was _Daniel_ for crying out loud, and Janet was her best friend.

Sam told herself she was just going to Cassie's room. That she just wanted to stand in the girl's doorway. That being around Cassie's things would make her feel better, like it always did.

Sofound herself standing perfectly still and silent outside the teenager's empty room. Staring blankly at a movie poster and holding the stuffed dog Jack had given Cass for her thirteenth birthday -even though Janet warned him she was getting too old for stuffed animals- as she listened to her husband's voice on the other side of the wall. Sam stood there listening to the voices say words she couldn't understand through the wall, in tone's she hadn't heard or used in a very long time.

Sam was down the hallway and opening the door when Janet caught her sneaking out.

"Sam?" Janet was worried"Where are you going?"

Sam didn't turn around. "I decided not to spoil your little sleepover after all" Sam said coldly.

Janet winced. "Sam I told you it's okay. I'm _here_ for you."

Sam held onto the door with a death grip and looked up at Janet, who was caught off guard by the coldness in her eyes.

"Be here for Daniel" Sam said with disgust, letting the door slam shut behind her.

* * *

Sam drove home on autopilot, opened her door mindlessly and locked it behind her. She sat down woodenly on the couch. She knew she should be feeling something. Pain, anger, blind rage… anything. Sam looked down at her right hand and saw she was still holding Cassie's puppy. 

Janet had told Jack about Cassie's desire to be treated like a 'grown up'. Sam had bought her clothes; Daniel had gone for a DVD, Teal'c had pitched in with Janet for rollerblades. But Jack had insisted on buying the stuffed dog. He had said Cassie would like it anyway. Janet had shot Sam her forbearing look behind Jack's back and Sam had given Janet her he-is-_such_-a-kid look.

And when Cassie had seen the puppy she had smiled so wide Sam thought her face was going to break. She couldn't get over how soft it was and grinned at Jack like it was a special secret between them. Jack had been the only one allowed to 'treat her like a baby'. Cassie had slept with the little stuffed dog ever since.

Sam clutched the dog to her chest and gave into the urge to scream. She screamed until she was afraid the neighbors would hear. She screamed until she was exhausted enough to cry. And she fell asleep on the couch, with the puppy in her arms.


	8. Times of Change

Sam stood by the counter in her lab staring at the device Jack had used to enter their reality. She'd spent the night on the couch and woke up at 5 o'clock in the morning. She'd left a note on the kitchen table telling Daniel that she was coming into work today and saying that if he and Janet would be so kind as to not some to work today she'd cover for them.

When she'd arrived at the briefing room that morning General Hammond had told her Janet had called in sick with the flu. Sam had told him Daniel had the same thing, which hadn't struck Hammond as odd. If there was anything he'd learned as commander of the  
SGC it was how quickly a virus could spread.

Sam sighed deeply and rested her head in her hands. She was no good at this soul searching stuff. She preferred action. If something was broken, fix it. If you needed something, make it. She wasn't good at fixing personal problems.

The phone rang and Sam picked it up.

"Don't hang up" Daniel pleaded.

Sam ran a hand through her hair. "Daniel I'm not ready to do this, I need time to think."

"Sam…" Daniel started.

"We can talk tomorrow okay? I just, I need you to give me today all right?"

"All right" Daniel agreed. "And I'm staying with Teal'c tonight so, you can use the house if you want." Daniel carefully avoided calling it 'home'

"Okay" Sam said, and hung up, impulsively swiping the phone off her desk onto the floor with her arm.

It gave a satisfying crunch as a piece of plastic skidded across the floor.Sam inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly. She felt her tense muscles begin to relax a little. She couldn't remember the last time she'd stopped to breathe. And destruction of Air Force property was oddly comforting.

Sam opened a drawer and took out a picture of Jack and Teal'c together on a day off. Teal'c was wearing one of his usually outrageous outfits, and Jack had on jeans and a collared shirt. A blue shirt. Sam traced the picture with her finger. She'd always loved that shirt.

Sam wondered when exactly she'd lost sight of what was really important. She must have known at one time. There had to be some point at which she'd made a conscious decision to screw up her life, to leave Jack behind in a last ditch attempt to find contentment.

Looking back she couldn't remember what she'd been thinking at the time. Why she'd made the choices she had, it wasn't really worth thinking about anymore. Sampaced circles around her lab, telling herself she was working, that she just needed to concentrate. But she couldn't concentrate, and she couldn't think. She just ended up thinking herself in circles.

The truth was there were so many little reasons for the choices all of them had made. Who could say why any of them had done the things they'd done, made the decisions they'd made. Sam sat down and leaned the picture beside a framed copy of Sam and Daniels engagement picture. Then turned them both over, took a snapshot of the team out of her drawer and put in on her desk instead.

Shestudied the picture like she'd never seen it before. They had been so perfect. The four of them had been an almost invincible force, capable of handling anything, anytime, anywhere. They always gone back for each other, they'd fought for each other and they'd won every time. Sam closed her eyes and breathed. It had been so long since she let herself remember how it used to be. But now she immersed herself in memories, letting the past consume her, because it was the only thing that made sense anymore.


	9. The Place I've Found

"Jack"

Jack looked up and saw Sam standing in his doorway, the light from the hallway behind her, outlining her form. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt this time instead of BDU's. Jack started to get out of bed.

"Please, don't get up." Sam walked in, letting the door close behind her, and lingered near the door. "I was just on my way home and I thought I'd see how you were doing"

"I'm fine" Jack leaned back against the wall, still slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he was in bed, uninjured, and she was in his room.

"Good" Sam tried to smile, but wasn't very good at it so she gave up. She'd never been very good at lying to Jack anyway. She reminded herself for the billionth time that this wasn't her Jack, that this wasn't the same man.

"Are _you _all right?" Jack asked her

She'd been staring at him, searching him with her eyes while the tears welled up to the bursting point. Still, she held them back, unsure if she could show them, unsure if she could let this man see her cry. If he could comfort her asher Jackhad, or if he was truly different, as she'd tried to tell herself.

Jack saw the tears in the familiar blue eyes and acted on instinct. "C'mere"

She practically ran to the bed as she threw herself into his arms. "Shhh" He soothed as she buried her head in his shoulder. He placed a comforting hand on her neck, and rested his chin on her hair. Sam curled up beside him and let some of the tears out. But there weren't as many as she'd thought there'd be. The longer she was with him, the less she felt like crying.

Jack felt her head move under his chin and thought she'd cried herself out and was ready to pull away, instead he felt her shift her body closer to his, her head rested on his chest, one of her hands finding it's way up to his ribcage.

"Sam" Jack still wasn't quite sure what her intentions were at this point.

"Jack" she whispered his name softly, it was a request, an invitation, an expression of everything she'd ever wanted to say to him. One word, that was everything to her.

"_Sam_" Jack's voice had a hint of warning in it.

"They say woman was made from a single rib of a man." Sam's fingers found one of his ribs through his t-shirt, and she pressed down on it lightly"That used to bother me, not because it seemed unscientific so much…but it made women sound like so much _less _than men. I don't see it that way anymore."

Jack couldn't think of any way to answer that one, so he didn't say anything.

"You know a rib is just about the strongest part of a man. It protects his heart, his lungs, his life. So if a man gives up the strongest part of himself for a woman, that makes her both his greatest strength, and his greatest weakness." She mused. "What do you think?"

Jack hadn't exactly followed her train of thought. At the moment his biggest concern was the fact that she was still lying on his bed with her hand on his ribs, and he had no idea how to get rid of her. Not to mention the fact that he was starting to not want to get rid of her… The mattress crackled as Sam shifted her weight and slid the covers down so she could get under them.

Jack cleared his throat. "Uh, Sam?"

At his reluctant words Sam was just about ready to give up and run for the door. But she was running on adrenaline now, and she was pretty sure she'd crossed the point of no return. If he was going to get rid of her, he was going to have to be a hell of a lot more obvious than that. She leaned against him and wrapped one of her legs around his.

"Sam" Jack whispered, not wanting to let go when she so obviously needed him, so obviously wanted him. "Sam don't do this."

"Don't do what?" She asked, sliding her hand up his shirt.

"Sam, you're _married _for crying out loud."

"Yeah, and he's screwing Janet." Sam said simply.

Jack blinked. "Oh, sorry" he said softly.

"I'm okay" Sam whispered.

"Look, Sam, I know this seems like the way to get back at him but…"

Sam pulled her hand back from his chest. "This isn't about _revenge _Jack."

"I didn't mean…"

"Listen to me. I'm here because he basically ditched me okay? And I realized today that for the first time, in I don't know how long, I feel free. I don't feel like I have that responsibility,that obligation."

"To do what?" Jack asked her.

"To keep trying to make up for the fact that I never loved him."

"Sam, look at me" Jack made her look him in eye. "I'm not the same Jack O'Neill you've been in love with."

"I know" as Sam said the words she realized she'd finally accepted them. "You're a completely different one" Sam lay there beside him, her heart aching for his reaction as if her life depended on it, and maybe it did.

Jack processed the words she'd just said. In and of themselves they really could have meant anything, but with the way she was looking at him right now, she was so close to him he could actually feel her heartbeat against his arm. His own sped up to keep rhythm with it. So maybe she was technically married. The guy had cheated on her, the divorce was imminent… His hand was still on her neck, that same place he'd rested it as a comforting gesture, now the touch felt different, like something else.

Jack slowly moved his fingers up into her hair.Sam sighed softly as he rubbed her neck with his thumb. He wrapped his free arm around her, resting his left hand on the small of her back as his right messaged her neck.

Sam knew he'd made his decision and found his lips. Settling deeply and finally into the place where she'd wanted to be for so long she couldn't even remember. Jack broke the kiss for a moment. "Are you sure?" he whispered. Sam clung to him and breathed. "Please"


	10. The Pain of Falling

Sorry this took so long. Writing Daniel-Janet is a bit challanging for me at times. And trying to fit everything in the right places...Hope this makes sense.

* * *

-Previously- 

Janet walked into her bedroom shutting the door behind her and leaning back against it.

"Janet?" Daniel squinted in the dark. He'd just gone back to sleep when the door slammed. "I thought you were going out with Sam"

"She left Daniel" Janet's voice was hollow.

"Why?"

Janet silently held up Daniel shirt.

"Oh shit" Daniel swore.

"I'm sorry" Janet apologized. "I shouldn't have asked her inside. But I didn't want to make her wait in the yard, and I didn't think…"

"Janet don't." Daniel interrupted her. "This is my fault." He said with self-disgust "_Dammit_!" Daniel slammed his hand into the backboard of the bed.

"Daniel!" Janet reprimanded him.

Daniel shook the sting out of his hand. "I was supposed to protect her Janet" Daniel said more calmly. "That's the _reason _I married her. The reason I stayed around. I was supposed to be the one person who wouldn't do this to her."

Janet sat down on the edge of the bed. "So was I"

"But _I _married her Janet"

"I know" Janet clutched his shirt in her hands, her eyes staring unseeing at the ink stain by his pocket. "I know Daniel"

* * *

Daniel had waited until he knew Sam would be at work to go home. He'd found her note on the table and called Janet. They'd decided since they had to spend the day in exile they might as well spend it together. He'd gone back to her house and they spent the day slowly, not talking a lot, just being together. Janet had some laundry and cleaning to do, and Daniel had offered to do a few things around the house, and as he fumbled his way around he realized just how little time he'd spent in his own home. The bedroom door had been squeaking for weeks for instance. He'd never been Mr. Fix-it, but he could have tried. Of course, Sam would have gotten it finished in two minutes, if she was ever there... 

Daniel looked at Janet over the top of his book as they sat in the living room. They'd done everything that day but make love. He wondered if it was because there wasn't any hurry anymore now that his marriage was over, or if they were avoiding it out of guilt.

Janet looked up and saw him staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing"

"_Daniel_" Janet knew he'd been thinking something.

"I was was just thinking" Daniel returned his attention to his book. "It's nothing."

"Okay" Janet gave up and turned the page.

"Janet" Daniel looked up from his book again.

"What?" Janet smiled in her voice, but didn't look up, knowing it could take a long time for Daniel to get to the point.

"I love you"

Janet dropped her book.

* * *

"You'd better go" Janet pushed Daniel away lightly as he showed no sign of leaving. "It's getting late" 

"You know," Daniel said seriously. "Sam already knows"

"But Cassandra doesn't" Janet sat up in bed. "God, Daniel if she found out...you know how close she is to Sam. She'd never speak to me again."

"I know how close she is to Sam" Daniel stood up and pulled his pants on. "But you _are_ her mother."

Janet shook her head. "You don't understand" She hugged her knees. "She's a teenager. She's developing strong ideas about things, and she's identifying herself asa woman, learning what it means to be a woman. And one of her fundametal beliefs is that men who cheat on thier wives are losers, and any woman who would sleep with her best friends husband is a..." Janet stopped short of saying it but the word 'whore' hung in the air as clearly as if she had.

Daniel sat down on the edge of the bed and looked her in the eyes. "You're a good person Janet" he said earnestly.

"I don't think so Daniel" She told him quietly. "Not anymore."


	11. When Morning Comes

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked, stroking Sam's hair as she lay beside him with her head on his chest.

Sam hesitated, since the answer was the sort of things that anoyed him, but decided to tell him anyway. "I was just thinking that if we wanted to get any closer, we'd have to be molecularly bonded."

"Sam" Jack's tone was carefully blank. "That is, without a doubt, the _sexiest_ scientific thing I have heard in my life."

Sam smiled into his chest.

Jack couldn't help remembering the last time he'd seen her this naked was when she'd drank that stuff on P...He cringed suddenly at the memory.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked pulling herself up and leaning on one elbow.

"It's nothing" Jack dismissed it.

"Oh" Sam's eyes left his face and settles somewhere on small space between them, making it wider, by the sheer fact of looking at it. He was pulling away from her again, and once again, he wasn't telling her why.

"Hey" he traced his fingers down the side of her face and along her chin, lifting it so that she looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry"

And all at once she knew what he'd been thinking and why he hadn't told her, and why he was sorry, and a sob caught in her throat.

Jackknew the Sam Carter he'd known in his reality and the one beside him now were two different people. But they were also the same person, and there was no denying that if they hadn't known each other 'in another life' so to speak. They would never have slept together last night.

"It's all right" Sam told him. "I have memories too."

"Well, I guess we need to make some new ones." Jack said, gently stroking her back.

Sam stretched out on her side, resting her head on her arm.. "I think we've got a start"

Jack shook his head. "Not good enough" he moved to kiss her and she kissed him back. The kiss was soft and warm at first, the kiss of two people who had just discovered life again, as if for the first time. It was slow and sweet and savoring every breath.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I love you back" he kissed her deeply, wanting both to remember every moment he'd ever spent with her, and yet, to forget everything about any life he'd had before now. But all that would take time, right now he wanted to live solely and completely in the new chance he'd been given. To spend the remainder of his life with the woman by his side.

They both froze when they heard the knock on the door. Jack laid his head on her collarbone, not wanting to move. Sam rested her hand on his head, as if hoping that if they were still and quiet, whoever had come for them would go away. But the knock just repeated, harder this time. Jack reluctantly pulled from her arms and stood up. He pulled his fatigue pants on hastily and answered the door, opening it no further than absolutely necessary.

"Yes" He said dryly.

"General Hammond wants to see you sir" The SF told him, looking surprised at his state of half-dress while she tried not to stare at his chest.

"I'll be right there" Jack told her, and closed the door in her face.

"You know I love Hammond" Sam sighed "But he has very bad timing."

Jack flopped on his stomach on the bed. "I said I'd go"

Sam hugged his neck. "I won't be here when you get back."

"I'll find you"

"Okay" she said, kissing him goodbye.

* * *

Jack walked into Hammond's office. "General"

"Thanks for coming Colonel"

"What can I do for you sir?"

"I asked you down here to tell you you've recieved permission to stay here on earth."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "That was in question?"

"Not really" Hammond told him. "But now it's official. You'll be incorporated into this command, in an advisory position at first. If that works out you'll be assigned and SG team. Maybe even SG-1."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea sir" Jack rocked back on his heels.

"Why not?"

"It's Carter sir, I'm just, not sure I can work with her."

"Why's that Colonel?" Hammond couldn't believe they weren't getting along.

"I slept with her, General." Jack said, instantly thinking he should have said something else.

"What?" Hammond was stunned.

Jack just tipped his head to the side in what seemed like a cross between a nod and a shrug.

"You know you're not allowed off base."

"Yes sir" Jack said in a tone clearly indicating that was one rule he hadn't broken yet. Leaving Hammond to come to the obvious conclusion that he'd slept with her _on _base.

"Jack, what am I going to do with you?" Hammond asked earnestly.

"You could send me back, sir" Jack suggested with a cringe, clearly hoping the general didn't take his suggestion.

Hammond sat down shaking his head. "You know, sometimes I forget your not the same Jack."'

"Well this is going to sound odd...but so do I sir."

The general just sat in his chair for what was an uncharacteristicly long silence. Jack waited patiently -then not so patiently- until Hammond finally spoke. "Well, the way I see it, the Jack O'Neill from this reality is dead. So officially,you can't be an Air Force officer here unless you join."

"So I'm a civilian?"

"I would say you were in the service of an 'allied nation'. In which case you'd keep your title, and the respect that comes with it. But you have no authority here other than what I give you. You command what I tell you, when I tell you, understood?"

"Yes sir" Jack looked at the man he'd watched die four months ago standing in front of him laying down the law, but still finding a way to give him exactly what he'd wanted."You know sir,this may sound a bit...odd, and I still don't understand all this parallel, alternate, stuff. But I'd be honored to serve under your command in any reality."

Hammond nodded. "Same here Colonel"


	12. The Parting

Sam was standing beside the kitchen table with one hand on the stuffed puppy in the center of the table, when she heard the front door open and Daniel walked in.

"I thought you were going to return this to Cassie?" Sam asked, turning around.

"I tried" Daniel told her walking toward the kitchen. "When I told her you'd had it she asked me to give it back to you, and tell you to keep it as long as you needed it."

Sam smiled. Cassie must have figured she'd been missing Jack that night. "She is perfect isn't she?"

"Yes" Daniel agreed, enjoying the neutral topic. "That she is."

"So about the other night…" Sam started.

"I'm sorry" Daniel jumped in.

"Daniel…"

"Sam I know I'm probably not going to get another chance to say this so please, let me say it right"

Sam waited.

"I want you to know that I am really sorry. I can't tell you I completely regret Janet. I know you wouldn't believe me if I did, you're smarter than that. But, the way I did it, going behind your back was completely inexcusable,completely unforgivable..."

Sam knew he was tearing himself apart over this, and while he deserved it, she didn't feel like watching. "Daniel" she interrupted, and made him actually look at her for the first time since he'd arrived.

"I went to see Jack last night"

Daniel stood there dumbly as he processed the information. That was the phrase they used to use for going to the cemetery. 'I went to see Jack today.' Somehow he knew that wasn't what it meant this time. And then it all made sense. Sam's calm when he'd arrived, the fact that she hadn't thrown anything at him yet, or even called him anything…

"So did this start before or after you found out…" Daniel didn't finish the sentence,

"After"

"So I guess that still makes me the heel huh?" Daniel said wryly.

Sam didn't verbally agree. But her expression said 'If the shoe fits…"

"Well, that's okay. After all those years of badgering Jack, I deserved to fall on my arrogant, morally superior ass." Daniel said bitterly.

"I'll see ya 'round Daniel" Sam hinted.

"I'm sorry" Daniel said one last time. "And this isn't an excuse, because there isn't any excuse, but one of the reasons I didn't tell you, was that I wasn't sure you were going to be all right."

"I'm gonna be fine" Sam told him.

"I know" Daniel nodded, pulling his upper lip between his teeth and fighting the unexpected urge to cry. "I know that now" he blinked back the tears. "Goodbye Sam" he flashed her a quick, bittersweet smile and headed for the door.

Sam was surprised by the sudden display of emotion and realized that in some ways, at some times, she was really going to miss him. Consequently when she spoke her voice was softer. "Goodbye Daniel"

Daniel hesitated at the open door and looked back. "Is this it?" his blue eyes were questioning.

Sam looked back at him, torn between her desire to run to him and throw her arms around her friend, and telling her -soon to be ex- husband to leave her the hell alone. "I don't know" she shook her head. "I really don't know."

Daniel hesitated in the doorway, but there was nothing left to say. He nodded and slipped out the door, letting it fall closed behind him.

Sam picked up the stuffed puppy off the table and looked around the house. She'd thought they were going to discuss the house today. The things they'd have to split up and sell, but it hadn't turned out that way. Right now she was having trouble imagining them ever having that discussion. She wished it could just be over, that she could walk out of the house right now and never come back, never think of it again. Sam took the stuffed toy in one hand, picked her car keys up off the table and walked out, locking the door behind her. She'd have to come back for her stuff. The house and probably the furniture would have to be sold or given away, she'd have to come back at least once, but not today, or tomorrow, or the day after that. She set the puppy in the seat beside her and started the car. Today she was free.


	13. Loose Ends

"I've been looking for you" Jack said walking into Sam's lab.

Sam smiled and turned in her chair. "You said you'd find me."

"Yup" Jack kissed her on the side of her neck. "But I didn't know you'd be _hiding_."

"How'd it go with Hammond?" Sam asked.

"Not bad" Jack leaned back against her work table.

Sam turned around to face him. "Then what's wrong?"

Jack looked at her, meeting her penetrating blue eyes. "I told Hammond about us."

"What?" Sam was surprised. "Not all of it?" she felt queasy.

Jack didn't say anything. Which, Sam knew, was a 'yes'.

Sam sighed. "Why?"

"He wanted to talk about my future here. He said something about assigning me to SG-1. I had to tell him where I stood, what my priorities are."

Sam nodded. "He had a right to know." She hadn't wanted him to know just yet, but Jack was right. Hammond would have to know sooner or later. Sooner or later Hammond knew everything. All thier failures, all thier shortcomings...

"Sam?" Jack sounded unsure as to whether or not she approved.

"I told Daniel" Sam admitted.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Daniel?"

"I met him at the house today. I'd promised we'd talk."

Jack could see the regret written on her face and felt a coldness wash over him. He knew she wasn't going back to Daniel, he knew she'd never loved him in the first place. But the idea of sleeping with Daniel's wife -or Sam even being Daniel's wife-still grated on him and he didn't care to think about any more than necessary. But seeing how hurt she was by what had happened he knew he was going to have to accept the past. Because as much as it was 'over', he was going to be living with the consequences for quite some time... "How'd it go?" He asked, trying to be casual.

Sam shook her head. "I don't know. I thought we were going to discuss the house but we just ended up talking and..." Sam exhaled. "He said he was sorry, I told him about us, and he left. I don't know." She repeated looking at Jack. "I'm just glad it's over."

Jack took her hands and pulled her out of the chair and into his arms.

Sam leaned into Jack's shoulder and he put his arms around her and rested his chin in the crook of her neck.

"It's over" He promised.

* * *

Daniel sat down on the couch and looked at Janet. "She's with Jack."

Janet sat silently waiting to see how Daniel was taking it. The obvious reaction would have been relief -as she was relieved- that Sam had moved on. That it somehow made what they had done less important. But the heart was not so simple, nor easy to predict.

"So how are you taking it?" Janet was neutral and emotionless, allowing Daniel the luxury of honesty without fear of hurting her feelings.

"I don't know. I mean, this is a good thing. I'm glad she's found someone." Daniel had the sound of man trying to convince himself of something. "She doesn't deserve me, I let her down, I'm the jerk here. I don't have any right."

"So what's wrong?" Janet was in full doctor mode. Had anyone been listening they never would have guessed she had an emotional investment in the man in front of her. But then, when it came to hiding emotions Janet had learned from the best. And perhaps surpassed them all in that no one had ever suspected her.

"What's wrong?" Daniel repeated. "I don't know. I guess...I feel like an idiot. I married her, and I lived with her, and I even slept with her a few times when she felt like coming home. It's not like I ever really thought she loved me, not the way she loved Jack. But I convinced myself she _needed _me. I was so _desperate _to feel something, anything, I actually believed she couldn't live without me."

"I don't think she could have." Janet said. "I think she needed you just like you needed her. Daniel I was there with you two, I've seen how happy you could be together. How content you could be just to be with each other."

Daniel nodded. "Content. But never happy, only less alone."

"Maybe that's all that mattered then."

Daniel sighed and lowered his head. When he looked back up the clouds had cleared from his eyes and he smiled warmly at Janet. "When was the last time I told you how much I love you?"


	14. Broken Trust

"It's Cassandra" were the first words out of Janet's mouth when Sam picked up the phone.And with good reason, as Sam would probably have hung up as soon as she heard her voice had Janet said anything else.

"What about Cassandra?"

"She found out about me and Daniel"

"And how it that my problem?" Sam asked coldly.

"She locked herself in her room…"

"Look Janet…" Sam interrupted.

"I know she has every right to be upset and I'd decided to leave her alone but she's been in there for five _hours _Sam. She hasn't eaten, hasn't had anything to drink. Sam she had a date at six o'clock and she didn't even call to tell him she wasn't coming. You know how she feels about standing people up. I've stood outside the door and I don't hear anything. No movement, no throwing things, not even her TV. I got worried and tried talking to her but she won't answer to me or Daniel. Sam please, I'm not asking you to make things right between us, just make sure she okay please. I'll leave if you want me to." Janet was desperate.

"Just stay out of my way" Sam said abruptly and hung up the phone

* * *

Janet exhaled and turned to Daniel. "She's coming" she said, sounding relieved. 

"Good" Daniel told himself this was a good thing. After all, Cassandra was more important than any of their little problems. Or big problems, he added mentally. Or _really _big problems… Daniel wondered what he was supposed to do with himself.

"I'm gonna make myself scarce." Janet announced.

Daniel groaned inwardly. That meant he was to be the welcoming party. Not that Sam needed someone to show her around, but he'd have to answer the door… He and Janet couldn't _both _go into hiding, and apparently the one person Sam wanted to see less than him was Janet. Daniel watched Janet slip into her den and close the door and sighed, resigning himself to his fate.

* * *

"Excuse me sir" Sam stood in the doorway of General Hammond's office.

"Yes Major?"

"I need to ask you for a favor sir..."


End file.
